As You Might Have Guessed (or not)

My attention has been sucked up by the resurgence of my interest in lyme. Whoops. I have been trying to find that meme of autistic cat (is that what it’s called?) where it says something like “new interest, no one hears from you for days.” Yup. 😇

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Waffling / Avoiding News

I kept changing the privacy setting on my last entry between public and private. I sometimes feel silly to post my speculations in public. I don’t know, maybe I’ll offend someone, but really, isn’t that their problem, not mine? Anyhow, I think my “speculations” are correct in this instance, mainly evidenced that thus far my little foray into lyme protocols is already helping me greatly. I’ll expand on that in the future, especially if it continues. 😉 I’m doing a combination of Buhner’s protocol and salt/c.

(I should add that I have successfully switched from coffee to green tea. No more wired/jitters.)

I’m staying away from the news more and more. The potential for war with Russia is too much to mentally deal with right now for me. That and the amazing hypocrisy of the media/people/whatever when it comes to Trump. I don’t like him at all, but much of what he’s done (lying, cheating with women [possibly rape as well], etc) is no different than what I remember from Bill Clinton. Yet, Clinton is a virtual saint? I don’t know. Can you imagine what it would have been like if that mainstream media attacked Clinton’s every foible? It doesn’t seem like it would have been any different with him. I just can’t stand it anymore. There really is nothing new under the sun.

Take another leap in the dark; With a humble heart

Sometimes I feel self conscious mentioning any of the various things I consider when it comes to my mental and physical health, like it makes me appear like a hypochondriac. I’m not, but the feeling is there. I have considered a lot of things over the years and have eliminated or come back to certain ones as needed. It’s just the naked feeling of having one’s inner thoughts out in the open for scrutiny, I suppose.

But, here I go. I feel like rehashing some of this out in the open. 😉

Years ago, in my early 20s, I considered the possibility of having Lyme disease. I had gone through strange bouts of symptoms. I’m not going to go through the long list, partly because I’m sick of that (ha) and partly because my memory is crap anymore for really tracking that sort of thing. The randomness has continued over the years. I can be “fine” (for what I’m used to, anyhow), and then suddenly I have the memory of a gnat and am having joint pains/etc for no reason (no falls or whatever). Oh, and my semi-regular “I feel like I’m getting sick” or general malaise spells that go away after a few days. (I rarely ever get a true cold.) Plus the constant plague of brain fog. Migraine-type headaches on the rare occasion.

So, why did I consider Lyme? For one, I DID have the rash…two of them, huge, at the same time on my legs (while living in a rural setting with everpresent ticks). [Years later I had another tick bite, one I didn’t catch before it burrowed in with only it’s backside showing. ICK.] Now, courtesy of my lovely aphantasiac memory, I can’t recall specifically whether it was the bulls eye rash OR ringworm. I know whenever it’s been a long time between looking, the bulls eye rash pics always register first. Whatever that means. I also have had ringworm several times before (yay, country living), and I have never had ringworm rashes the size of the ones I had on my legs. Mine have always occurred as dime to quarter size patches all over my body.

Two, I had an interesting reaction the one time I was on antibiotics after that. I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted via surgery, and the doctor prescribed percocet and an antibiotic. The surgery was Friday morning, and on Monday…well…I can’t say I have ever felt that horrible since. No, it was not dry root (or whatever it’s called). I had extreme pain in my head, neck, and upper back. It was so bad that I stayed in one position all day, never eating or going anywhere. I thought maybe I had slacked off on the percocet too soon, but even a dose of percocet didn’t dent the pain at all. However, the next day I was fine. Better than fine. I felt amazing for the next month or two, although I gradually fell back into “normal.” I don’t think I’ve been as clearheaded since then. (No, I have not taken antibiotics since then.)

Both of these things make it seem like a possibility. I am familiar with with some of the herbal protocols, and I don’t think it would hurt to pick one to go through. It’s just working up to actually doing it. Right now even taking a multivitamin seems like a chore. 😂

(There’s no insect I hate more than ticks. I have to work hard to not freak out when I find one on me.)

(There’s no skin problem I hate more than ringworm. I always have this “wish” to scrape all of my skin off. Ugh.)

(No, I have no idea why I left off with the Lyme thing years ago. There are any number of reasons I could have, whether being distracted by other problems, etc. I can’t explain it sometimes.)

Change

I am determined to change how I live my life. There has always been chronic stressors that have been beyond my control, and that is not likely to change any time soon. So, I must change how I respond to these things. No more of the “it’s too hard to try.” As if sitting in the fire is any easier?!


I’m hoping by this weekend I will have totally stopped caffeine. I backed it way off yesterday and started drinking tons of water with electrolytes. Oh! I always get a strange [gross] withdrawal symptom from caffeine. Usually within 1-3 days of slacking it off, I will have heavy sinus drainage overnight, to the point that it wakes me up from nearly choking. I had that big time last night, and I actually feel quite a bit better today. My sinuses are totally clear! It just seems like such a strange symptom to have for withdrawal, but it has always happened.


Isn’t this beautiful?

So much for that. I guess it’s time to go straight back to burnout.

(I’m not really sure what is going on. I seem to be in a yo-yo mood cycle lately. Severe anxiety, happy/perky, depression. I really hope it isn’t burnout coming though!)